y?

I wait wait nd keep waiting for a call i know will never come

for the return of something dat was never mine

i yearn for a lot of things buh  too scared to say dem out loud just in case they run away

I have opened my heart to dat which dey call love and have been burnt badly

d sheer madness and feeling of helplessness bewilders me

y do i have to be the one to suffer nd cry

while he carries on like ever before

yyyyyy so many why's 

i guess il know d answer someday until den!

Random Ramblings

Am reli trying to develop the habit of blogging frequently buh sumtyms it does feel like nobody reads my blog buh i hear dey say writing things is cathartic wow anyways in spite of my annoying loud flat mate am gonna keep writing with d hope dat spontaneity ends up making reading this post worthwhile..... hmmm i yearn for a great many things.. i yearn for lost innocence before the awakening of carnal desires, i yearn for the strength, courage, independence and ambition i had when i thought life was either black / white buh today as  i type- things are indeed different i no longer feel like a superwoman my strength seems to be gone ,ambition flat, courage zero ..ask me y?
i reli dnt knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....................

How to live your best life!

Take responsibility for your actions,
Make your destiny,
pursue your happiness
be responsible for dat  Happiness
be good to all men
Wat i know for sure:Where am from, where i ave being is never an accurate predictor of were am headed.
If you work hard and prove urself excellent- excellence shall follow u.-Oprah Winfrey.
It takes one revolutionary idea to Rule the world !

summary of my activities since i went awol!

April 2010-Love blossoms,had plenty of fun!
may 2010-trying tym buh still fun.
June 2010-Exams no one likes dem, separated by distance.-bestie
                                                                                            den bf
July 2010-sUmmer filled with so much expectations and hopes ended up miserable!
August 2010-it seems i went thru august with both eyes closed .....more like walking dead
September 2010- break up:Pain starts- depression
october 2010-month of my birthday-depression escalates,Oxford application.
November 2010-rejected by oxford, comfort eating, starts my journey of self discovery nd healing
December 2010-getting to happy ,meets dude, friends 1st, get 2geda: not dating tho
January 2010-absolutely splendid nd good
FEbruary 2010-ends in pain +tears back to square 1.

Wow dis does look awful as a summary of um1' life in almost a year buh dis is exctli wat happens wen ur lyf goes off track  u  end up pushing the things dat are u : ur values,interest,principles,dreams and aspirations to the back burner.I FELT EMPTY but none of dis could feel me at the end of d day its tym to go back to the drawing board and foundation of who i really am.This is quite deep buh am on a road to self discovery better now dan Never. aM not proud of were i went buh am sure of were am headed.

ramblings

Wow being out of blogsville for over  a year man. So its bng dat long buh tonight as i lay in bed unable to sleep, consumed by pain and a torrent of tears i reach for a comfort dat blogging alone can provide. Hmm were do i start d turn my life has taken  in d past year nd a half gives me a need for sober reflection. since moving to England in 2009 i think i have fewer things to be thankful for - d awfully gruesome weather, 3' things' in less dan two years, overwhelming loneliness and constant feeling of heaviness and inability to connect with pple.
I need to find me,go in pursuit of my happiness and take responsibility for my happiness! lets see ow dis works out am back!